So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
