I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
