I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize