oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
