Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
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This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
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I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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