I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
