Nicole vs. Life
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
