We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
