Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize