roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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