Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
