I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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