Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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