sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
my poor anus
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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