so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
