Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My vagina just clenched in fear
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
