Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize