so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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