new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops