He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
if only i could text you this smell
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"