You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
