Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
