I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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