k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
