when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
