We should be called the Road Head Warriors
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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