nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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