We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
