Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
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Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.