I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize