I love black thongs
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
