Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I intend to get homeless drunk
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
