He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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