She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
