I think scott just propositioned me for sex
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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