she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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