Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
