The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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