i just wanna soil my oats bro
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
