he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
