Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
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she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
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my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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