I'm jealous of your bromance
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
