She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
