all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
