Just cropdusted the office
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Drunk is not a location!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
