I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
