You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
