Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
