Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize