Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
