Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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