I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
