just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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