I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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