your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like eating out sand paper
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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