Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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