she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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