That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
