the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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