I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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