is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
